The sorrow of a (step) Grandmother

I thought my "end of the world" post was going to be my last post for the year. However, I need to blog about one more thing.

My Grandson was born this past week. He died the same day. We had known a lot about his problems a while ago and we were of course hoping for the best. Well, the little guy had little chance to live and he didn't make it.

We'd been preparing ourselves. My Stepdaughter and Stepson in law were preparing themselves also.We are very sad, but at the same time doing well. Although Hubby and I came home last night and today we're finding it hard to function today. At this point in our lives death is something we expect, because people die, but when it's a child, it's so foreign; so strange.

If you read this blog you usually know I somehow tie in my posts to weight loss. Well, believe it or not, this one will. While away for the three days visiting my Stepdaughter and Stepson in law at a children's hospital more than three hours away from the Capital Region, I came to a realization that I've been on a "culinary vacation".

Which means that I've realized that this being off the wagon is not a permanent thing. I also realized need to stop.

I've been wanting to get back in to the Weight Watchers state of mind, but that realization really was a moment of reckoning.

So, I'm still recovering from my health scare, but I am even more poised to get back on the wagon. Why not do it now? Well, in case you can't tell, I have a few more pressing issues right now, but after we bury my Grandson this coming week and I celebrate Christmas with my Plattsburgh family soon, I'm going be pretty well set up to be ready for life to get back to "normal". I plan on being back to 'normal' by the end of January.


Thank you for reading. 
(Rest in peace AMC)

It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine

So this Friday is the end of the world. So I wanted to just post on my blog one last time to say goodbye. I really appreciate all of the love and support I've received in the last year I've been blogging. Farewell cruel world!!!

Did you really buy that? I think so many people are past the whole "end of the world" thing. At least a lot of my friends and family are.

BTW, I did say something on my Facebook page and my Twitter about the Connecticut school shooting. It was brief, but I would like to expand on it. Words can not express how I feel about the Connecticut school shootings. I'm the daughter of a retired elementary school teacher. I'm also a child of divorce and from a small town (Note: Newtown is like 30,000 people in my hometown is like 5,000), so I can relate to the shooter in a very strange way. It just really breaks my heart to think about all of those times I went to visit my mother at school after I graduated from that school. Teachers and staff would greet me in the hall. Even some of my mother's former students would greet me in the hall. It is such a wonderful place, full of hope and love. How someone can go to a place like that and kill people just is unfathomable. The sense of security as well as love and innocence is certainly lost in Connecticut and I'm sure it will take a long time to get it back. At least the victims will never know any kind of pain again.

Anyway. With that stuff out of the way, let's get down to regular blog business.

I never did a one year post on November 27th like I wanted to. So I do want to thank everyone for reading and all of the love, support and participation I get here. I look forward to getting more in the future because I intend on continuing on my journey no matter how rocky the road may get. I've tackled way more difficult things in my life. I've always been a "Road Less Traveled" type anyway.

I also wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, or as I always say "Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate". I haven't tracked in a few weeks, believe it or not, but I'm recovering from my health scare pretty well. I hope to be back to 'normal' in the next few weeks.

Happy New Year to everyone too. It's funny because I always say we should not make resolutions and try to improve ourselves year around and not only do it on the first of the year. Well, I'm making a resolution to get back in to that Weight Watchers state of mind and start to track and get back on the way to getting to my goal. Amazing I'm still hanging in there after five months of being "off the wagon". Better things are coming!

This is my final post this year. See you all in January!

As always, thank you for reading!

Going to be MIA again

So, I just suffered a non-weight related health scare and was in the hospital for a few days last week. I'm recovering nicely. As a result of this scare I've been reevaluating my life as a result and I've decided part of that recovery is not writing my blog for a while. I would like to do a holiday post before Christmas and an end of the year post before the end of the month. Other than that I will not be writing for a while. I plan on returning on a weekly basis in January. I have no idea when in January that may be.

So although I've promised myself I'd never take a hiatus from blogging because supposedly, if you take one you never come back, I am taking one.

Don't worry, I've got lots of ideas for 2013 and I'm planning on getting back on the wagon once I am fully recovered from my setback. I plan on going back to my meeting on the 17th. Although I'm taking it all a day at a time and that might not work for me. We'll see. I'll keep you all updated.

As always, thank you for reading! Also thanks for sticking with me if you've liked my page on Facebook or follow me on Twitter.

November Update: Really out of control

I thought I was ready for a comeback and out of control before. Now I am really out of control. It's amazing how I've been eating and not being able to remember what I ate. I haven't tracked in a week or more. That's not why I haven't been tracking; I just don't care.  I haven't weighed myself for about a month and I know my clothes are getting tighter. I'm about to bring out my 24s. I know that my 2x shirts are getting too small for me. It's funny how the weight can come back so quickly.


One of my big problems is that I keep eating candy candy and more candy at work. I found out where the community candy bowl is at work. I thought the one on a co-worker's desk that is located on the other side of the room was easy to resist because I don't have to walk past it if I don't want to. It's also not free, so if I don't have money I can't have any. Well, the free community one is right by my row. I'll have to start pretending that I don't know it's there. When I'm not raiding the candy bowl at work I'm eating out of the vending machine. One day I ate three candy bars in a day.
 
I have been trying to stop myself by giving myself internal pep talks. I've also have my support system trying to talk sense in to me. I've come up with a strategy. One, I will stop bringing money in to work. Two, I'm going to start to downsize. I  bought a bag of small sizes of the candy I keep eating out of the vending machine. I will bring a few of them to work with me. It will be better than eating an entire Hershey's with almonds and/or Big Kat. It will also keep me from raiding the community candy bowl.

I haven't been to a meeting for about a month. I keep hearing "That's why you're so out of control". Well, I don't think that's true. I don't think a meeting is going to keep me eating sensibly. My first week on Weight Watchers I didn't go to a meeting and I stayed on the program. I also feel that if my eating is so out of control and none of the advice I could get, or support, I could get at a meeting is going to do any good because I'm so off the program. I've survived far worse by myself, I can overcome this.

 I may "eat" my words someday, but for now that is how I feel. I'm stubborn as hell.

So, that's how life is for me. I considered stopping this blog and giving up, but I'm still hanging in there.

Because I know I have a lot of international readers I need to be sensitive to certain things. So, if you're American, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and for the rest of you, I hope you have a great Holiday Season.

About Hostess going out of business

Before I start, I want to say my computer is back in working order, however I have been exceptionally busy taking care of extremely important emergency home matters. I expect for life to return to "normal" in the next week or so. However, it is the holiday season and I'm sure you know how that can be.

With that said...

You'd think that a person who once weighed 385 might of had an intimate relationship with the Hostess brand. Well, I didn't. I am not a big junk food person, never was. My opinion about Hostess going out of business is that there's no loss there. I think their products are pretty unappetizing. I would not be surprised if the old joke is true; that Twinkies are one molecule from plastic.

Don't get me wrong, I hate to see a business of any kind go out of business because it means loss of jobs and hardships for many people. However, I will not miss seeing Hostess brands on the shelves. I've probably eaten maybe ten Hostess snack cakes in my 39 years.

I feel badly for all of the folks who are losing their jobs over this. I'm sure the local economy will suffer in that area also. However, it will not make any difference in my life.

On the other hand, Ben & Jerry's going out of business, well, that would be a problem!

As always, thank you for reading.

Won't be around for a while.

My computer is down so I will not be updating for a while. I don't know how long I will be away, it could be more than a week. I'm working on getting the problem solved ASAP.

As always, thank you for reading.

Halloween/Sandy Update

Just wanted to give a heads up. Last year I ate 60 points on Halloween. This year I only ate 46. I guess I'm not doing too badly;-)

Also wanted to say we're doing fine in regards to "superstorm" Sandy. We were braced for the worst. After Irene I was really worried. The lights barely flickered, it rained a bit, it wasn't too windy, and we lost a small branch from a tree in the yard. So we fared well. Seems like Sandy is still around and still might effect our weather, but I'm not too worried.

However, I feel badly for the folks who got hit hard, particularly the folks in NYC. It hurts to see people suffer, but when it's in one of my favorite cities that just happens to be in my home state it's awful. Places I was in April and May were under 13 feet of water. I'm looking in to who might be collecting clothing locally for NYC and I'm going to donate a lot of my old "fat clothes" that I still have yet to give away. I might not find anyone, but we'll see. I strongly urge everyone to do what you can to help all of the folks affected by Sandy, even if you just give a little money to the Red Cross or Salvation Army. Every little bit counts.

Everyone loves an underdog

I can't believe that I missed an entire week of blogging! I've kinda been busy! Just wanted to let you all know that I'm trying to make a comeback. I'm staying on maintenance for one more week, because it gives more daily points. It's my birthday week and the week of Halloween so I can really use the extra points. and then I'm going to slowly start to go back down to where my points should be. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed. Looking forward to seeing the numbers go down on the scale again! As always thank you for reading!

October update

To quote one of my favorite lines in a Kevin Smith movie said by Silent Bob, "I got nothin". I literally can not find the enthusiasm for writing since I've been struggling. I also don't have anything for this week's Back in the day Wednesday.

I'm still not back on the wagon, but I'm definitely doing better. I actually haven't gained a lot of weight. I went to my meeting Monday night and I've only gained .8! I'm on maintenance, that actually gives you extra points, so that I can keep myself where I am and not gain. So far it seems to be working. I thank my brilliant Stepdaughter for coming up with that! I'll slowly bring my points down once I can go more than a week without going over points more than once a week.

Eventually, when I get a handle on this I'll write more personal stuff because right now I definitely don't feel much like a weight loss guru. I feel like a hypocrite and a big phony giving advice and telling stories while I'm struggling. Maybe my upcoming birthday might give me the push I need.

As always, thank you for reading.

Back in the day Wednesday: Subway

This is the next installment in the series where I tell what I used to eat in Weight Watchers points vs what I eat in Weight Watchers points now.

Back in the day:

6" Chicken Bacon Ranch
Large Sprite

Total: 26 points

Now:

6" Flat Bread with Egg White, Bacon and cheese


Total: 5 points

Back in the day Wednesday: Wendy's

This is the next installment in my series of posts about what I used to eat in points, before I started Weight Watchers, and what I eat in points now.

Back in the day:
Large fry
Homestyle Chicken sandwich
Large lemonade
Large frosty

Total: 56

Now:

Asiago Chicken Ranch Sandwich (Homestyle)
Small Lemonade
Small Frosty

Total: 28

Surprised? This shows how I can eat just about anything on Weight Watchers. Sometimes I will only eat the sandwich because those are the only points I have. As I have said in previous installments, it all depends on how many points I have. Also know I don't like the new fries they have so it makes it easier to resist the fries.

As always, thank you for reading.

Back in the day wednesday: Taco Bell

Photo Credit: mikebaird, on Flickr

This is the next installment in my new series "Back in the Day Wednesday" where I tell what I used to eat, in Weight Watcher points and what I eat now. My favorite Fast Food would have to be Taco Bell.

Back in the Day:

Nachos Supreme
Cheesy Potato Burrito

Total: 26

Now:

2 Chicken Supreme Gorditas

Total: 14

Note: If I get the Chalupas it's 18 points.

Once again, it can vary depending on what points I have and what I'm in the mood for, but for the most part that is what I eat.

As always, thank you for reading.

I'm lucky killing people is illegal

Picture credit: Kmohman on Flickr

I love Boston! I went there the first time when I was a teenager. I was still in "regular sizes" at the time. I was walking through Boston Common with my Mother and I saw a woman walking a dog, She was a larger woman, average height, probably about a 26/28, maybe bigger. I turned to my Mother and said "If I ever get that fat please shoot me".

It's been a long time since I said that and my memory is a bit faded, but I'm pretty sure I was bigger than that lady before I started to lose weight and if she was a 26/28. I just barely left that size behind Christmas of last year.

'Nuff said.


As always. Thanks for reading.

Don't you hate it when you get stuff on your shirt?

With the advances of laundry technology, you can't really ruin clothing any more with food stains, but you can still look like a slob walking around with a big spot on your shirt after you eat a meal out somewhere. I haven't done that in a long time.

I used to get a lot of food on my shirt when I was really heavy. It got the point that my stepson would marvel in the fact I didn't get anything on my shirt when we were out eating. After I had my moment of reckoning with my weight I noticed how, as I started to take control of my eating, slowing down and eating less, the spots on my shirts stopped appearing.

Now, I am able to lean over my plate. Yes, I could not lean over my plate when I was really heavy. I'm also eating slower and taking smaller bites on my utensil. I also find that I'm eating lower fat foods so I'm not necessarily eating greasy food made with butter or cream, so that really helps.

I still get food on my shirt, but it's not as bad as when I was really heavy. Just another little thing that I love about losing the 127 pounds I have lost so far!

As always, thanks for reading.


Note: I read this post to Hubby before I posted it and he said "Yeah. You used to have stains on stains!"

Back in the day Wednesday: Chinese Buffet

(NOTE: When I first posted this the points total was off for the "Now" by three, that has been corrected.)

Photo Credit: stevendepolo on Flickr

This is the next installment in "Back in the day Wednesday". Sorry for the lateness.

Hubby and I are big on Asian food. After sushi, I'd have to say Chinese food in general is probably number two for us. There's a buffet which we kinda consider "our place" not too far from our house. When I started WW I decided to make some substitutions, because I'm more about quantity than quality in some cases. I'm not terribly fussy so that really works for me. What I eat at a Chinese buffet really changed.

Back in the day:

Lots of fried rice 
Lots of sesame chicken 
Lots of peanut chicken 
I love dumplings 
(note: I do not know the points for peanut chicken. Just know that one tablespoon of peanut butter is 3 points)

If I only had one serving of each of those (cup of fried rice, cup of sesame chicken, a 3oz serving of peanut chicken (just counting the 3 points for the tablespoon of peanut butter) and four dumplings) it would be 28 points and I'd get about three plates.

To top it off I almost always had 16 pts worth of ice cream and maybe a cookie or some chocolate syrup

Point grand total: 44



Now:

One cup of chicken and broccoli
1/2 cup of white rice
Four dumplings
One ounce of chicken teriyaki.

Points total: 14

This is just an example of what I can eat at a buffet. It all depends on how many points I have. 

One tip for eating at a buffet is to get small portions of everything and then sit down with your tracker and track what you have so far and then when you're done eating figure out what you have points left over for and how hungry you still are.

Another tip for eating at a Chinese buffet. Don't hesitate to dig through the serving dish to find a small portion of something like Chicken Teriyaki. I've been able to find one to three ounce servings at multiple locations at multiple times.

As always thank you for reading.

The food didn't taste as good.

So I've been really out of control and last night I had a big blow out and I vowed to start again today. So far, so good, but that's not the point. Last night when I was doing the big blow out at one of our favorite pubs in downtown Albany  I noticed something. The food didn't taste as good.

I usually get this burger with cheddar sauce. I get the sauce on the side and I spread it very sparingly on the bread. Well, I got probably three times that on the burger. I also got mayonnaise dipping sauce for the fries. I usually forgo the dipping sauce. I started to eat the burger, and it was the worst burger I ever had there. I usually eat the entire burger and it's a great burger. I am not a big red meat person so for me saying it's a good burger is saying something! Keep in mind this was probably my fifth time having that burger there. I disliked the burger so much I only ate half of it. I ate all of the fries. which are arguably the best in Albany, if not Capital Region. I never give up fries there.

When I was done I was so full. I had a little trouble falling asleep because my stomach was so full. I haven't been that full in a long time and it didn't feel very good at all. It reminded me of my old days when I would eat and eat and eat. I don't know how I did it. As it is my stomach has gotten bigger over the weekend and my 18/20 shirt doesn't cover as well as it should.

I'm not happy that my eating habits have gone crazy, but I am happy that I was reminded of my bad habits and how horrible life was back in the old days. I think I learned a lesson last night. Let's hope it will stay with me.

As always, thank you for reading.

Something amazing happened to me today!

Today, for the first time ever, I sat on the floor and played with my Granddaughter. May sound simple enough to you, but it's an amazing thing for me. A year ago this coming Christmas Eve was the first time I sat on the floor comfortably, and got up unassisted in a very long time. You can read about what it was like to sit on the ground or floor at my highest weight at Life at 385: Sitting.

I've been having a really hard time for the last month and a half and if I hadn't come as far as I have I wouldn't have had that experience today and it was amazing! There is no way I would have had that experience when I was 385.

I've definitely come a long way.

Thank you for reading.

Drinking water for people who don't like to drink water.

I've never been a big water person. I never was a big soda drinker either. However, since I started to lose weight, I have been drinking nothing but water. When you do Weight Watchers you have to drink at least 64 ounces of fluids a day. Some people drink as much as 100 ounces of water a day, even more. I can't do that. Besides, I don't want to suffer from water intoxication, it can kill you.

 I don't really like to use points for drinks. I do occasionaly splurge for a drink at a restaurat, but otherwise, I drink almost exclusively water.

I have another condition for drinks. I don't drink caffeine. A Doctor told me years ago due to two medical problems I have, I should not have caffeine. I've been caffeine free. as far as drinks, since 1993. Keep in mind that I still allow myself chocolate, which has caffeine, and in small amounts I'm ok.

I drink/have drunk the following flavored waters that are zero points per serving

• Vitamin Water XXX Zero
• SoBe Zero Calorie Life water
• Crystal Light
• Plain water with Mio
• Aquafina flavor splash
• Sparkling Ice
• Dasani Flavored water
• Decaffeinated Hot tea
• and just good old fashioned water with lemon.

I'm sure there are plenty of other alternatives out there, but those are how I drink my water. I hope this helps you get your water. However, beware, some of these options can add up to points if you drink enough. For example, if you were to drink a 16oz bottle of XXX Zero Water, it would be one point.

Do you have any "zero point" water suggestions? Please leave them in the comments!

As always, thanks for reading.

Just checking in

Just wanted to drop in and say hi. It's been a tough summer. Between being busy with all kinds of stuff, dealing with my major health problem acting up and continuously falling off the wagon, I haven't felt worthy of posting to this blog. I'm pretty ashamed of myself.

I've been to four WW meetings this summer, if you're lucky and I haven't weighed in since the beginning of August. I'm hoping that things are finally turning around. Until then, thanks for reading.

Back in the day Wednesday: McDonald's

This is the second installment in my new weekly series showing what I used to eat (in Weight Watchers Points) vs, what I eat now (in Weight Watcher Points). Today's restaurant is McDonald's.

Know that I eat at McDonald's ten times a year if you're lucky. I've never been a big McDonald's fan. However, also know that I once worked within a very short walk of a McDonald's, sometimes I'd drive  because walking was so difficult at my highest weight, and I'd eat it about once a week for lunch, sometimes more.

Back in the day:

Angus deluxe
Large fry
Fruit and yogurt parfait

Point Plus Total : 35

Note: This does not include the medium lemonade, which I would sometimes refill. I would also sometimes  get a shake, a small is 12 points. I rarely got a small. I also would sometimes get three chocolate chip cookies. Chocolate chip cookies are 4 points each.

Now:

Angus Deluxe Snack Wrap
Fruit and Yogurt Parfait

Points total: 15

Note: I now get a Vitamin Water XXX Zero to drink, which is of course zero points.

Back in the day Wednesday: Buca

I am doing a series of posts every Wednesday telling what I used to eat in regards to restaurants in points and what I now eat in points. Yes, you can eat anything you want on WW, but I have made certain changes.

Today's restaurant is Buca:

Then:

1/2 of a small Fettuccine Alfredo
Lots of Bread
Three cannolis
Two lemonades

Points: 84
Now:

Salmon
Meatball
Four pieces of bread

Points: 19

Note: what I ordered/order varies. However, these are standard for the most part. Also, this does not include the oil for the bread.

Doctor refuses to treat obese people

I am shocked by the news that a Massachusetts Doctor refuses to treat obese people because her staff have been injured helping obese people. I am even more shocked that the AMA supports it. However, I just read the Hypocratic Oath and there's nothing in there that the Doctor is violating.

Here is the article

The ups and downs of my journey

If you know me well enough, you know I'm a roller coaster fanatic. However, I don't like it when any aspect of my life is a roller coaster. Sometimes my journey has been like a roller coaster.

For the month of July and some of August I was in a bad slump. I'm an emotional eater and I really believe that part of the slump was the starting my new job. I'm doing much better now, but I wanted to share with my readers what life was like during those weeks:

• I made excuses to eat and go over points, such as: "I'll only be here once", "This might be my only chance to eat this", "It's a special occasion".
• I thought I was ready to give up. I was ready to quit because I missed the freedom of how much I wanted, whenever I wanted and whatever I wanted.
• I was in tears over whether or not I should quit.
• I was also in tears over being bored with tracking and Weight Watchers. The expression "bored to tears" comes to mind.
• I missed meetings for an entire month because I was afraid that I gained weight.

I finally went to a meeting about a week and a half ago and seeing my leader and my WW friends really helped. At one point it was kinda hard to stay in my seat and I almost walked out, but I stayed. One of my WW friends, let's call her Evie, gave me a pep talk that really resonated with me. It gave me a kick in the butt too. I am very thankful for the wonderful people I have met at my meetings and my leader.

So, I survived. I am fully back on the "wagon". Just wanted to show that it's not always easy. I may be very positive on this blog, but I have my bad days. This was the worst slump I've ever had on Weight Watchers, but I'm gonna be ok.

As always, thank you for reading.

Under construction

Please excuse the mess. I'm changing my blog design. The blog re-design should be complete by Aug 25.

Thank you.

Wendy

Welcome again!

Welcome to my new blog! I don't have anything new to publish yet, but everything that was on the old blog is here now. It's late and I'm tired so I'm going to say goodnight.

As always, thank you for reading!

Why I'm going to stop eating Greek yogurt.

So I had been hearing about Greek yogurt and I only tried it for the first time in March. I think it's pretty awesome. I love how thick and creamy it is and just how different it is. I usually eat 6oz of it every morning. It can be anywhere from three to four points. It's also like $1.20 per 6ozs.

So since I only got my first paycheck since May on Wednesday, money has been tight. The last time we went grocery shopping was before I got my paycheck, so we were being careful with money. As a result, I went for the regular yogurt that costs 50 cents.

I ate that yogurt for the last few days and although the texture was downright watery compared to the Greek yogurt, it was good. I hadn't had regular yogurt in a very long time and I had forgotten how good it was. I was also pleasantly surprised to see that the cheap yogurt was only two points.

I will continue to regular yogurt because either way I like yogurt. I will still treat myself with Greek yogurt from time to time. Heck, once we get back on our feet I may go back to eating Greek yogurt every day. However, for now, I'm good with the 50 cent yogurt that saves me money and points!

As always, thanks for reading.

Mckayla is not impressed with my 125 pound weight loss

I'm moving (sort of)

I'm working on getting my blog ready for a change. I will be changing my blog's name and I will be getting my own domain. Everything should be done by mid-September. I'm shooting for September 1. This blog will remain as is, but I'm importing everything from here to the new blog and I will leave a link to the new blog on my last blog post here.

I'm making changes because I realized that my blog's name is too long and my choice of blog address is too hard to remember. I didn't want to get advsinwtloss.com because that's just too hard to remember. It also doesn't tell you what my blog is about. I know that if I meet someone with a blog I'll write down the address and sometimes end up losing the paper I wrote it on.

The new blog name will be easy to remember and fun. So, if I meet someone at a Weight Watchers meeting or on the street I can just tell them what my new blog's name is and it will be easy to find. I will also be changing my Twitter handle, so people will know immediately what I'm all about.

Right now I do have the new blog as a place holder, so nobody else takes the name on blogger. I also have a Gmail account for that name too. I have my new blog title graphic up at the new blog and I will be revealing my blog's new name in hints on Twitter  in the next few weeks. Once I purchase my domain name, which I should be getting in the next two to three weeks, I will reveal the new blog name. I will keep everyone up to date on the progress here on a weekly basis. If you follow me on Twitter you will most likely get more inside information.

I am very excited! It's a new chapter for my blogging. I'll miss the old blog and have sentimental attachment to "Wendy's Adventures in Weight Loss", but I'm looking forward to having a new fresh name for my blog that is fun and easy to remember.

Hope to see you there!

As always, thank you for reading.

You can hear me now!

That podcast interview I did in June is now up at Heather Robertson's blog Half Size Me. Enjoy!

As always..thank you for reading.

While you're waiting for something to appear here...

Visit the blog that will soon exist here under a new name:

Wendy's Adventures in Weight Loss is coming to this space September 2013.

If you need inspiration, watch these.

I'm coming out of a rough patch. That's not why I've been writing, but I am coming out of one. I mentioned on Twitter that I like the new Nike slogan "Find your greatness" and I posted this video:

Then Make-a-wish Wish Jump 2012 suggested this:

All of a sudden that rough patch I was coming out of seems far far away. That video makes me realize how far I've come and I don't have anything really holding me back. I do have hurdles to overcome, we all do, but not quite like Arthur Boorman. He is just amazing.

I have heard from various people that I am their hero or I'm an inspiration. Well I'm nothing compared to Arthur Boorman. He's done something that Doctors told him he would never do again. He beat the odds!

So if you can't do it, or think you can't, remember Arthur and keep thinking

"Just because I can't do it today doesn't mean I won't be able to do it someday"

As always, thanks for reading.

A note: You'll finally hear me now!

That podcast interview I did back in June will be up on Half Size Me on Monday! Once again, thank you to Heather Robertson for giving me the honor.

If you follow me on Twitter you know I've not been feeling up to writing lately. I've gone back to work at the same job I had when I started this blog in November.It's great to be back there. Kinda weird, but nice. Even if they told me I didn't have to go through training I would insist on taking the training again. It's slowly all coming back to me.

I've also recently became the official photographer for the Albany Rocky Horror Shadow Troupe The Whip-It Outskirts. I also am working on a piece for All Over Albany.

I do have some stuff in the works, just kinda busy and not much in the mood to write.

Until next time....Thanks for reading!

Progress pictures July 2012

Put on my old 32 jeans today. Wow!

The Weight Watchers App is crap

I've been sitting on this post for a while.  I usually have nothing but love for WW on this blog. Well there is something that I don't like about WW, their phone app.

I got a smart phone a few months ago and one of the main reasons I got the phone was to use the WW app. I had read the reviews on the WW site for the app and they weren't very positive. Based on my experience, I don't have lot of faith in negative online reviews. I sometimes think they are overblown or sour grapes and I have experience to prove they can be. Well, I should have listened. Not that the app cost me anything or that I hate having a smart phone. It's just really disappointing.

It's not just a bad app, it's an epically bad app. As I like to say, "it plays games with me". All of these "games" can be occurring in various combinations at one time.

There's the:

• 34 34 34  game: It will show that I have 34 points used, 34 points remaining and 34 weekly points and that I have manually changed my daily points.
• There's the "null" game. It appears to be working just fine and I go to put in a portion and it says "null" instead of numbers so I can't use it
• It plays the "You do not have an Internet connection" game: Sometimes, even when I have a 4G connection it will tell me I do not have a connection
• It will play the "Sorry that food is not in the database" game: I will search for a food I know it is in there, because I use it often or I added it myself and it will not show up.
• It will play the "Force close" game: I'll look up a food, put in the portion and then go to click the "add to tracker" button and it will not depress and it will come up with the message that it needs to force close. Which brings me to the most common...
• It plays the "Sorry we do not recognize your password or user name": I will have to keep trying to log in and log in and it will reject me. Sometimes when I get in it will only show me a light blue screen so I can't use it then either

For the most part, it works well when I'm on 4G or WIFI. However, unfortunately, not all places I eat have 4G available or even WIFI and I do eat out a lot. My other apps work pretty well, even on "E", with exception of a few. However, I have high expectations from a big company like WW. You'd think they have their stuff together. I want to be able to depend on the most important app in my phone because the key to being successful with WW is tracking.

Regardless of all of the app problems, WW still rocks!

As always thank you for reading.

Your independence from fat with a very personal story

This is of course my second Independence day on Weight Watchers. A year ago I got my first "present" from my leader. She handed out those little toothpick American flags. She said "this is your independence from fat". I still have mine. It's a simple little thing, but it meant a lot to me at the time, still does.

I think it's a great way to look at weight loss. You're declaring your independence from fat. You're saying "Fat, I don't need or want you any more. You are no longer welcome". Which brings up something very personal that I want to share.

If you have to, think of fat as an abusive person. "You've made me feel miserable long enough. You've ruined my life for too long.". However, you allowing yourself to stay in that "relationship" is partly your fault. However, I know what it's like. I was in an abusive relationship for years. For the record it was NOT my ex-husband.

It was so hard to pull away from the abusive relationship and the old abused woman refrain "But I love him!" applied many many times. I could have become a statistic. However, I kept staying away from him, which was so hard because I'm from an area where everyone knows everyone so information travels. Like me not telling him where I moved and him showing up there. Yah. Nevertheless, I kept promising myself to be true to myself and be good to myself and to stay away because it was in my best interest. It took a very long time to finally sever the relationship, but I did. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my 38 years. It's a cautionary tale that can apply to food and fat.


Be true to yourself. Don't go back to your old relationship with food. I know I abused myself with food for many years. Declare your Independence from fat. You don't need it in your life. You're better off without it. You may become a statistic if you don't get rid of it.


Happy Independence Day!

Off Topic: Roger Waters: The Wall Live

So, I'm constantly reading about how to improve my blog. I read somewhere that going off topic and telling a little bit about yourself is good. Well, last night I (kinda) fulfilled something on my Bucket List.

I've been wanting to see Pink Floyd in concert for many years, I've been a fan for about 25 years. The band is of course never going to completely reunite because two of the founding members are dead. However, I did see my favorite band member perform my favorite Pink Floyd album last night. Roger Waters performed "The Wall" in it's entirety in a grand over the top spectacular multi-media extravaganza at the Times Union Center in Albany.

I saw and experienced so much last night that I could go on and on but, I'll sum it up as succintly as possible with a bulleted list..

WARNING! SPOILERS FROM HERE ON! DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE GOING TO THE SHOW AND YOU DON'T WANT THE SHOW RUINED!

Last night in the show there were (Note: measurements are just estimations on my part):

• Larger than life characters: a 60 foot teacher puppet that had spotlight eyes that lit up and changed from clear to red and was impressively mobile, graceful and busy with movement from every angle (even his hair moved), a "Mother" balloon that was about 30 feet high with red eyes that lit up, a 40 foot "Wife" balloon/puppet complete with red neon lips that lit up.
• A 40 foot wall that went up before your eyes, it was completed by intermission. Projected upon it were very stunning well choreographed, high def. visuals, that messed with your depth perception. It spanned the width of the entire Times Union Center. At times it seemed as though the wall was moving and a living breathing thing, it of course came crashing to the stage at the end
• Amazing music from a legendary album. I've been listening to "The Wall" since I was 13 and the album shaped my teenage years. So seeing this show meant more to me than just fulfilling something on my bucket list. My "inner child" was enthralled the entire show.
• Being in the presence of a music legend. At 68 years old Roger Waters still has it vocally and he makes it all look effortless.Although, they did change the key of a few of the songs performed later in the show, but still, he dazzled with his voice. I've always said he is arguably one of, if not the, best voice in rock music ever.
• A black inflatable pig blimp  as Greg Haymes from the Times Union said was "the size of a bus" that had red light up eyes and had various symbols of oppression and sayings on it, which I was sure was going to land in the crowd at a few points.
• A four foot tall "Pink" doll, 
• "Stormtroopers" complete with hammer logo banners, 
• Roger Waters "shooting" the crowd with a machine gun during the "dictator" section of the show ("Run Like Hell", "In the Flesh", "Waiting For The Worms")
• A ten foot long model of a WW2 plane that crashes in to the wall
• Pyrotechnics (Flames for when the plane crashed in to the wall, and 'fireworks' shooting up from the stage and down from the scaffolding behind the stage)
• The legendary "Pink Floyd" circle hanging over the stage behind the band (I thought it looked a tiny bit oval)
• Ten (I think there may have been more) local teens on stage wearing black t-shirts that said "Walls build fear" singing that famous chorus from "Another Brick in the Wall Part 2" "We don't need no education..."
• A small room with a chair, a window with a great view of an unnamed city, and a flat screen TV that folded up in to the wall ("One of my turns")
• During "Comfortably Numb" the singer who was singing David Gilmour's parts Robbie Wyckoff  was raised to almost the top of the wall as well as the guitarist who played David's guitar parts, David Kilminster (you could see them about mid-thigh up)
• Amazing lighting effects
• Realistic sound effects
• And last but not least. Roger Waters admitting he was "grumpy" and "fucked up" around the time he wrote and the band recorded "The Wall"

I really thought I was going to have many "Oh really, Roger?!?!?" moments because I knew he had tailored the show to modern days issues like War, Terrorism, Police brutality, the Occupy Wall Street movement, etc, but I was not offended in the least. It was an amazing once in a lifetime experience I will never forget. The tickets were expensive on the floor, about $200, but I can see why. I might feel gyped if I got to another expensive show and all I get is singing.

I've been to many concerts in my lifetime, 50+ ever since 1984 and the only concerts that come close to what I saw last night were Garth Brooks (Fresh Horses tour) and KISS (reunion tour and Psycho Circus 3D) and they are a very very very very very very very far away in the list of great concerts I've been to compared to what I saw last night. I feel as though I was changed last night. Don't know how, but I feel I am a better person for it.

As always, thank you for reading.

Houston we have a problem. Abort mission! I repeat abort mission!

I've been doing really well on the walking/hiking front so I wanted to test/push myself. I also had a candy bar to walk off because I went over my points last night. So, I was going to walk five miles. I didn't want to go the old route. crossing four lanes of 55 MPH traffic isn't exactly my cup of tea and that was is only 2.5 miles and I didn't want to lap the block, so I figured I'd walk on the quieter side of our neighborhood. I went to Google Maps and measured how far five miles would be to walk. I had my plan, so I put on my, sunglasses, ball cap, sneakers and Ipod and headed out.

I live near one of those three digit state routes. Probably the most well known one in the Capital Region is 146 in Clifton Park. That's exit 9 off 87 where The Crossing, the newly re-named Northern Lights  and Clifton Park Center all are as well as lots of restaurants.The three digit state route near my house has some nice wide shoulders so I should have no problems walking on them, right? Well, those nice wide shoulders end less than a 1/4 from where my road meets the state route, and there's no sidewalk. Oh wait. There is a sidewalk. It looks more like a ditch because it's curved inward in the middle. I didn't want to twist an ankle so I stayed on the road. I was actually walking on the sold white line rather than walk on the "sidewalk".. Also the "sidewalk" is only about 1/8 of a mile if you're lucky. It's also not well maintained.  In addition to all of that, there's a few pretty scary curves, even when you're driving, on that road where I had to practically walk in the road. I kept scouting out the other side for the walk back and saw little to no shoulder. So, needless to say I turned around.

I considered going my old route, but walked right past it. I got home to discover that I had walked a little less than my regular 2.5. I did 2.2.  However, I'm pretty sure my heart rate was pretty high when those cars came whizzing by when I was walking with little or no shoulder so I should get some kind of bonus! Nonetheless, at least I accomplished something I set out to do. I walked off that candy bar I finished off last night that put me over points. So at least some good came out of it. Not that I'm complaining.

As always, thanks for reading

Wild times at the Dunkin Donuts

So I was commenting on one of the blogs on the Times Union site and I mentioned how I once worked at a 24 hour Dunkin Donuts. I worked every single shift that place had and a big part (at least 75%) of that time I worked the overnight shift, 10pm-6am. I've seen some crazy stuff.

There was a guy doing handstands in the lobby, a guy I had never met before asking me to go away with him on a bus to another state because I was beautiful (we were right across the street from the bus station), people driving drunk through the drive thru, the NYC prison bus that came at 2am with spouses of prisoners visiting their husbands in a maximum security prison. They were some of the toughest women I've ever seen and would hate to have pissed them off. There's also the person who came in a few nights in a row who appeared to be homeless. I think I saw her a few days later on "Unsolved Mysteries". My personal favorite were the sorority pledges that were forced to stand at attention in a line outside the windows while their sisters sat on the inside having fun. There was also the guy who came in about once a week or so, so I knew his order. He knew I knew his order. He came in high one night and he was totally blown away that I knew his order.

So the point to all of this is the Christmas gift I received for my first and only year working there. It was a tradition for the Manager to take the microphone from the DJ and to give gags gifts out for Christmas while explaining why she gave them. For example, one of the assistant managers was always saying "I saw it on Oprah" so they gave her a paperback written about Oprah. Ok, that's cool. That's fun! Then my turn came.

Now, keep in mind this was 1993, I was just barely 20, so it's all kinda fuzzy in my mind, but I do remember she said "Every time I see you, you're eating". We were allowed to eat anything we wanted at anytime, for free, as long as it was not in view of customers and we weren't too busy. So I'd pop a munchkin from time to time. Obviously those munchkins were popped about the time the manager would pop in to say hi when I worked nights. I also remember eating a lot of frozen chocolate chunk cookie dough.

So she takes my gift out of the bag and it's this horrible little stuffed person magnet with a red bathing suit on that says "Eating is My Life" across the chest and she reads the words to me "Eating is my life!" and laughs. The whole place laughed with her.

There's irony that I have my tracker in the background

Yeah. Real funny. I was an 18/20 back then and only about 210. My Mom recently found the horrible little stuffed person in stuff I had boxed up and left behind when I moved to Minnesota in 2003. She presented the stuff to me when I was up there visiting her in May. Time had taken it's toll on the horrible little stuffed person magnet. It was pretty gross looking as you can see in the picture. Good enough excuse to throw it out, so I did. I have no idea why I kept it. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

As always thanks for reading

Inspirational songs

I'm sure my idea of an inspirational song is different than yours. Your musical tastes might not be the same as mine either. I know I'm not as much as a country fan as I once was but I still consider myself a Garth Brooks fan, so I have to include him here because he's made so many great inspirational songs that can apply to a weight loss journey.

Here are a list of songs(complete with links to You Tube) that I find inspirational and that are very important to me when it comes to inspiring me to keep going on my journey if I need it, for my walks, or to just inspire me to keep keeping on. I might be doing a series of these but here are some songs for now, in no particular order, (although the first two just happen to be my favorites of the list and they're in my order of preference)

1. Alive - Meat Loaf
2. It's My Life - Bon Jovi
3. Do It Our Way (Play) - Alesha Dixon feat. real members of Weight Watchers
4. One Moment In Time - Whitney Houston
5. Standing Outside The Fire - Garth Brooks (All I could find was a homemade video with the song)
6. This is the Moment - From the musical Jekyll and Hyde sung by Anthony Warlow (All I could find was a live video)
7. Do What You Gotta Do - Garth Brooks
8. The River - Originally recorded by Garth Brooks, but all I could find is the Scotty McCreery version
9. It's a Good Life If You Don't Weaken - The Tragically Hip
10. I Run For Life - Melissa Etheridge (I couldn't find the official video. I figure the Oprah version was good enough)

That's enough for now.You may question why I put the last one on there. It's kinda a downer. Well, it's here because it reminds me that there are far worse things to overcome in the world than my weight and the fact so many people have beat cancer means I can certainly triumph over just about anything.

I'm sure you've noticed that not all of them are fast tempo songs so you might not want to put them in your Ipod for your next work out. You may want to add them to your workout play list or not. Maybe just save them for a rainy day or even not listen to them at all. All I know is I love music and it can be very powerful and these songs have encouraged me and pushed me many times in my life when I needed it. Might post some more as they come to mind.

Enjoy!

As always, thanks for reading.

Weight Loss Interview Series: Irene MacCollar

I haven't done one of my interview series entries in a long time. I had almost forgotten about it. Here is another installment. Irene and I know each other because her son married my Stepdaughter, so we share our wonderful Granddaughter! Enjoy!


Name?    Áine Irene MacCollar

How do we know each other?  We share a grand daughter! :)

Favorite pop culture things (Movie, Music(performer or band), Television show, Author, etc(Whatever favorite(s) you want to talk about))  indie music (especially Glen Hansard, and his bands The Swell Season and the Frames (not the US Frames)) and indie films especially English and Irish ones, living on the harbor in a beautiful part of  the world, fave actors are : Cillian Murphy, Mads Mikkelson, Daniel Craig, Dame Judy Densch, Kathy Bates, Colin Ferrell, Darren Healy, very rarely watch TV but would gladly watch Mad Men if it ever has another season.  Antique and cottage architecture and design, watercolors and writing.

Favorite guilty pleasure with food?  dark chocolate covered malt balls, carrot cake and those orange chewy "circus peanuts".  I feel guilty just listing them!  I have banished circus peanuts from my life indefinitely, as they are almost pure processed sugar and thus very dangerous for me. I try to never use the term "guilty pleasure" because gaining weight is not a pleasure. I call these foods "toxic to my health and dangerous to my future".

General location? (i.e. I'm 15 minutes outside of Albany, NY in a suburb of a suburb of a suburb so I say I'm from Albany when I'm online)  Belfast, Maine (A small, artistic, liberal harbor town community not far south of Acadia)

Hometown?  Petersburg, NY

Please feel free to tell me as much or as little as you want about your personal life. i.e. what you do for a living, relationship status, etc.  Divorced X2, best friends with the first and don't speak to the second, author, poet, artist, very proud mother of one perfect son, an awesome daughter-in-law, and the most beautiful and talented grand-daughter that ever lived (oh and did I say I was humble?).  I lived for ten years on a Maine island, and miss it terribly. Planning to move to Ireland at some point in the next two or three years part time and later full time.  Can live quite happily for long periods of time without human contact. Former journalist (along with all my other past professions) turned novelist (mostly erotic fiction: think Stephen King & Catherine Cookson meet Dr. Ruth and you'll have an idea of my work).

How did you lose your weight?  I personally don't believe that most "diet" plans can lead to permanent weight loss unless it's a way of eating that you can use every day for the rest of your life.  I changed my lifestyle permanently:

1. HOW I EAT: smaller portions off a smaller plate.  When eating out,  I refuse dessert and I ask for a take out box when the meal first arrives at the table so that I can package up half of the meal before I even get started. Set my fork down while I am chewing or talking.  MOST RESPONSIBLE FOR MY SUCCESS: every time I go for seconds or larger portions, I ask myself (DEMAND of myself) "am I eating this because I am really still hungry, or is it because the food looks and smells really good?" Almost always I admit I'm not really hungry and it keeps me from eating more.  Always STOP eating when I have had just enough (not when I am "full" - learn the difference), and either remove my plate from the table or physically push it away where I can't munch off it while I'm waiting for all the others to finish eating their seconds and thirds.  While watching videos and want munchies?  I try to keep my hands busy (crochet) and I keep a stash of grapes (easy to pop into the mouth just like chips) and when necessary I pop up some fat free popcorn.  I always prepare the plates from the counter and stove, and never set the serving dishes on the table home-style.  I ask people that I regularly eat with to help me by not eating dessert at the table because I've worked so hard, am not strong enough to resist, and  it is like having a beer in front of a newly recovering alcoholic: cruel.

2. WHAT I EAT:  I try to always use organic and fresh and I rarely eat anything processed, commercially frozen or canned food is a very small part of my diet.  I know what my triggers are (sugar, mainly) and have to be very strict with myself.  I have admitted about myself that processed sugar is not something I can satisfy myself with by taking "just a taste".  However, I allow myself one day a month (usually my most hormonal day) when I can eat ALMOST anything I want (chips and chocolate, mostly).  If I have an intense craving once in a very great while, I will allow myself a small or normal portion of that food in order to avoid the binging that inevitably results from denying a craving.   I know that I cannot have baked goods or snacks in the house or I will binge on them, so I set rules for others to hide it if they must bring it in (and hide it very well, I'm like a hound dog when I know it is there somewhere).  I know that if there is a bag of chips in the house or a monster bag of peanut M&Ms (for examples), I will not be satisfied until I have eaten the whole bag in one sitting, so at all costs I try to keep them out of the house.

MY VERSION OF EXERCISE:  I'm not a diligent exerciser, so I do other things, for example I ALWAYS do the stairs, try to walk my errands around town instead of driving, and park as far out in a parking lot as is possible so I have to walk a good distance to the store and back - little things like that.  Just keep moving every opportunity you have. I know that I will have to do some sort of serious exercise to maintain my loss.

HOW I TRACK MY WEIGHT:  I have a quality scale, and weigh myself every day at the same time of day and with the same scale.  I know that it's normal or me to gain and lose two or three pounds over the course of a day or two and don't get freaked about it, and don't ever count the ounces only the full pounds (why stress over what is likely water gain or menstrual bloating?).  I once had readings 5 lbs apart from each other in the same 24 hour period!  If the scale shows that extra couple of lbs more than two days in a row I take it seriously.

FINALLY:  I carry a fat picture in my wallet as motivation to stay on track when out.  It's a perfect photo because it is me with my son, who is one of my motivations for getting healthy. In it I am wearing clothes I picked out especially to hide my fat behind, and vow I will never look so frumpy and older than my years again.  Having gone from a tight 24 to a loose 12, I now walk that fine line between "inappropriately young for my age" and "One hot grandma!!" It's a blast. I also keep a pair of my "fat pants".

What piece of advice would you give someone trying to lose weight?  No offense to those who have lost while on commercial diet plans, I too lost on them  - several times, but always regained the lbs and then some, which is in keeping with many of the statistics. Some statistics also say that many who gain back those lbs, gain more on top of them, and that is mostly what I've had happen and have seen around me.  However, my advice is based on my own experience, and is not representative of everyone's experience.  Don't follow any diet plan that you cannot follow every day for the rest of your life.  Will you drink a protein shake for breakfast every day? Count points for the rest of your days? You know you won't, and so you run a significant risk of regaining. So, my advice is to change your lifestyle in ways you can live with the rest of your life.  These changes can be made a lot more easily than one might think, and the statistics will be on your side for the new you to be healthier and keep off the weight long term.  In the last year, I have never been hungry which I am honest in saying, because for the 28 years before that I was a terrible emotional eater - could never feel full until I was actually physically in pain.

Is there someone you'd like to give a shout out to that really has been integral in your weight loss? More than one person? If so, who and why?  No shout out by my son and his family are my greatest motivators.

What made you decide to lose weight?  I reached middle age and was suddenly aware that I was going to get old and it was now or never.  I was pissed at myself for all the years I allowed myself to be a treated like a second class citizen stripped of my femininity and youth and only got second glances because I was fat and not because I was attractive. I knew aging as an obese person increased greatly my propensity for serious health problems, and self-imposed loneliness.  Finally, the deciding factor was the birth of my grand daughter.  it made me strong enough to say enough was enough.

  

How did you surprise yourself?  It should not have been a surprise, but I just feel like a different person, I'm very happy with myself and my body, and dressing better and not hating myself every day of my life (conciously or not) for allowing myself to be fat. I did that before.

Has your presence on the internet affected your attitude toward your weight loss? If so, how?  No-one has actually "attacked" me, but I do find myself having to curtail my enthusiasm around others who have never had to lose weight or who are unhappy with their weight but not doing anything about.  My enthusiasm seems to make them sad and I don't want to do that. The only negative thing someone has said was one of my doctors of all people, who commented that statistics prove very few people maintain large weight loss.

Do you feel that people treat you differently?  The way others treat me in social and everyday situations. Sad and inexcusable but very true, it's like I am finally a real person that they are interested in talking to and flirting with, etc.  My change in physicality is not solely the reason for this. When I felt better and happier with myself, people wanted to be around me more, they are more interested in my life and who I am.  It's like I'm a light bulb that finally started to glow.

Are there any changes that you don't like?  Don't believe people when they say you'll lose a lot of breast weight, if I thought quality sexy 40 G wire-free bras were nearly impossible to find and afford, quality sexy wire-free 36 G's are impossible. The way everyone talked, I was looking forward to the girls resizing to a C cup or lower!  And, much of the time I still see the fat Áine in the mirror and not the thin one, which is emotionally problematic.

What are you going do when you get to goal?  Haven't decided, I better decide soon because I reach my goal (70 lbs lost) in 4 lbs.  (that's my original goal, I'd really like to lose another 5 after that)

If you would like to be featured in my "Weight Loss Interview Series" please email me

22 vs 30/32

These are my new 22 jeans on top of my old 30/23 jeans. I'm thrilled!

Before and After Part 2

So here's the one year on Weight Watchers pictures. 72 lbs lost

And here's the "Halfway" pictures. 120 lbs lost

Workout songs on my Ipod

I don't work out  as much as I should, but I went out walking today. I did a 2.5 mile walk in 50 minutes, just like Google said it would be. As one of my longtime Internet friends said "Google knows EVERYTHING".

While I was walking I kept zapping through the songs on my Ipod. I have a lot of  "Easy Listening" and Broadway songs on it and that of course is not very conducive to helping a workout. I also haven't updated my Ipod in years so it's not up with the times, not that I necessarily would be that "with the times" anyway. However, "Moves Like Jagger" should be on my Ipod for workout purposes and just general listening pleasure. Regardless, it got me thinking about what the best workout songs are on my Ipod. I came up with 14 of them out of a possible 22 fast tempo songs on my Ipod. For the record, I have 96 songs on my Ipod, but I digress. Here are the songs in no order:

1. Alive - Meat Loaf
2. Bad For Good - Meat Loaf
3. Runaway - BonJovi
4. The Monster is Loose - Meat Loaf
5. Last Dance - Donna Summer
6. Dirty Vegas - INXS
7. In View - The Tragically Hip
8. In the Land of the Pigs The Butcher is King - Meat Loaf
9. If We Never Meet Again -Tommy Conwell & the Young Rumblers
10. I Will Be There - Glass Tiger
11. I Run For Life - Melissa Etheridge
12. I Beg Your Pardon - Kon Kan
13. Hey Ya - OutKast
14. Spanish Train - Chris DeBurg

They're not perfect, it's not the songs I'd pick for a workout necessarily, but that's what's on my Ipod. I chose them because either they have a good driving beat, they're inspirational, or they drive me to do better. They could just do all of that together too.

I'll be doing another post all together for Inspirational songs as well as a post for my personal perfect workout play list.

Thank you for reading.

A Milestone Bordering on TMI

In case you can't tell by the title of this post, this post will be bordering on TMI (too much information). Maybe even entering TMI territory for the faint of heart. You've been warned.

There are milestones I've been keeping to myself because they are just TMI. Although I do share quite a bit on this blog and I'm willing to share probably more than some people, there are some aspects of my life I like to keep private. However I feel that I can skirt around TMI with a milestone I had last night.

One thing that is a big deal to me since I've lost all this weight, is not having to use the handicapped bathroom. I felt so awful going in and using it. Although, 99% of the time I wasn't inconveniencing anyone. One time I used it at our local Chinese buffet and an older lady with a walker came in and couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Even if I didn't really inconvenience anyone I got some dirty looks sometimes. I can only imagine what they were thinking. Shudder to think. Weird thing is, I am still in the habit of using the handicapped bathroom when I don't really need it anymore. I need to consciously remind myself that I don't need the handicapped stall anymore. I pride myself on not needing it any more and don't feel like I freak anymore because I don't have to use it.

Well, we went out to celebrate Hubby's birthday with some friends and there's a beer (snob) bar that Hubby loves to go to, so we had to go there. They have a very tight ladies room and I avoided it at all costs when I was heavier. It's a 'one holer' (which in my family means there is one toilet) and the walls are probably about six inches away from the toilet on both sides. Well, I conquered the ladies room last night. It was something on my weight loss bucket list and I'm so thrilled. I probably hadn't used that bathroom in at least two years and we've been there at least ten times in the last two years.

That is all. Thank you for reading. Hope I didn't cross the line with TMI.

Can you hear me now?

I'm going to be interviewed for a podcast for the blog Half Size Me. So you're going to be able to hear my very unique North Country, Canadian, New York, sometimes Minnesotan accent. Really looking forward to it! Very honored and very excited! The podcast should appear on the blog sometime in July or August. I'll make sure to promote the crap out of it so you won't miss it;-)

120 Down 120 To Go.

I did it! As of about 5:15pm tonight I officially found out I'm at the midway point! I've lost 120 lbs! I have 120 left to get to my goal of 145! I am so excited!

Halfway pictures coming soon!

End of May Catch Up

Not much to say. Just wanted to pop in and say "Hi". So, Hi! Hope all is well with you!

I know I've mentioned how I'm going to go to meetings every week now. Well, that got thrown out the window in the month of May. The week of May 14 I was sick, the week of May 21 I was out of town (yes I know that's no excuse, but I don't want to go to any other meetings than the one I go to), and the week of May 28 they were closed due to it being Memorial Day. Really looking forward to seeing everyone Monday. I'm hoping I've made it halfway to my goal. In the three weeks I could have lost five pounds. I can't wait to weigh in!

Me after hiking the Indian Ladder Trail

I had another milestone. I did something my husband and I have been talking about since we first got together seven years ago. I did the Indian Ladder Trail at Thacher Park! It was a bit strenuous at times. I had to stop a few times and a few times I was downright scared, but I did it.

We almost did that trail about five years ago. While we were doing the trail we realized that I would have been whining and complaining all along to way if we had taken it five years ago. My how times have changed.

After living in the Capital Region for almost seven years I finally I got a library card at one the bigger local libraries yesterday. I checked out The all-in-one Blogging For Dummies book. I thought I knew a lot about blogging. Well, I do and I'm learning some other stuff about blogging too. Some of it I want to use and other stuff I'll just ignore. I'm not here for a popularity contest, I'm here to share my story and inspire people. If I get lots of readers in the process, great. If I don't, well that's fine too. Blogging can be hard work, but I don't need to work at it that hard for my purposes.

As always, thank you for reading.

My WW one year anniversary

My WW before pictures, June 2011.  I weighed 337 lbs

One year ago today I made what was probably the most important telephone call of my life. I called my Dad to take him up on a offer he had been making me for years. I asked him to pay for Weight Watchers.

I joined online and I went to my first meeting June 6th, 2011. I didn't like the idea of walking in to a room full of strangers. I didn't even like my leader at first. She was hugging and visiting with everyone and I though I had snuck by at at the same time I didn't think I deserved to get the attention because I was new. I am actually glad she ignored me. I was nervous enough.

Speaking as a success story March 2012

It's a year later and those strangers have become friends and my leader has become a mentor. The people I go to my meetings with are more than just fellow Weight Watchers, they really genuinely care about me. They're more like family. I actually know some of them well enough that I consider them to be friends. I've now come to expect a hug from my leader every meeting.

When I went to my second meeting I got my first hug. She basically hugs everyone if you come back after your first meeting. I look forward to that hug every time I go to a meeting. Sometimes, if I don't get my hug because I come in late or for whatever reason I will seek her out. I even sometimes ask for a second hug if I'm having problems on my plan. Those hugs mean so much to me. I just love my leader, she's awesome. Everyone at my meeting is awesome, right now to the receptionists!
 

Me on my first hike in 18 years May 2012

 In the year I've been on WW I have:

• Lost 65 lbs.  (115 lbs overall)
• Lost four clothing sizes, a 30 to a 22. (32-22 overall)
• I have done things I never could have done a year ago: spending the day walking in New York City, going on my first hike in 18 years, speaking as a success story at a WW open house, riding a roller coaster
  
• I have regained my flexibility and range of motion
• I can sit comfortably, wear clothes comfortably, walk comfortably.
 

The list goes on and on

Riding a Roller coaster again October 2011

I rejected WW for many many years and I didn't know what I was missing. I can't believe I just typed that but it's true. I've come a long way and I have a long way to go. I'm so proud of what I've done so far. However, I'm going to keep taking it five pounds at a time. I don't dwell on how many pounds I have left. I just am happy with losing weight and after a while it adds up.

I started this blog six months into my WW journey and I really appreciate you joining me on my journey. Thank you so much for reading, even if it your first time reading my blog, it means so much to me that you care about what I have to say. I started this blog because I wanted to inspire people. I also thought that this journey I'm on is too incredible to keep to myself.  It's been a year of milestones and incredible things I never thought I'd do again. I'm looking forward to another amazing year.

Just a note: On the train

So I'm on the train on the way to see my Mother for  her birthday (gotta love Amtrak WIFI). I just had to post something because I am so excited to be experiencing two milestones! There is room between myself and the lady I'm sitting with. I also have my tray table completely down!!!!

Wow. I'm really impressed.

Weight Watchers has a secret?

Last week when I went to my meeting my leader was out of town so we had a fill in leader. The topic that week was why we joined WW. I spoke up and said how I had started to lose weight on my own and I joined WW because I thought there was some kind of secret that WW had. She went on to say there is no secret and she pointed to her head and said "The secret is up here". Well, the old Model UN Delegate in me wanted to debate her.

It was of course not the time or place to debate her. I'm there to learn and not debate. As is it I pick my battles and I didn't think it was worth it to make an ass of myself in front of everyone and take up everyone's time. I guess that's why I have my blog. I can give my point of view about anything I want so here it goes...

WW does have a secret. Their secret is how the calculation of the points of foods work. It's no secret that WW has a plan that works, you see the advertisements everywhere! You pay to use the plan and they give preset points for foods. However, does the average person know how the points are calculated? Of course not!

I have the online tracker where I can get points precalculated for certain foods but how about the ones not in there? I have a points calculator. Actually, I have two of them, one traditional one and one on my phone and I don't even really know how the points are calculated and I pay to use the plan. If how the points are calculated wasn't a secret everyone would know about it and WW wouldn't make any money from it.

I would call how the points are calculated a trade secret. The points are also copyrighted so WW wants to keep them their own secret. How the points are calculated will probably always be a secret. Therefore, WW really does have a secret.

46er considerations and Mother's Day 2012

First, I just wanted to say Happy Mother's day to every single Mother, Stepmother, Grandmother, etc etc. Basically anyone who feels they have been a mother or anyone you consider a mother deserves to be celebrated today. This is my first Mother's Day on Weight Watchers and I've had no problem whatsoever surviving it because I'm sick and I haven't been eating much!

In other news, I've been doing research about becoming a 46er. There's a few problems.

1. Heavy duty overnight hiking backpacks do not come in plus sizes
2. A lot of hiking clothing does not come in plus sizes
3. My feet have shrunk since I've lost weight and I have more than 100 pounds left so I don't want to invest in a pair of hiking boots or shoes quite yet. 
4. I know I can wear jeans and sneakers but I think since I am going to try and hike the high peaks I'm gonna need more than that because it will be heavy duty hiking and overnight hikes. 
5. It is going to be expensive getting all this gear.

I've done some research and there are ways around the packs and I'm barely small enough for plus sized hiking clothes. Well, at least the pants I was looking at on a major hiking supply retail site. I'm also sure there are ways of getting inexpensive gear that is good quality. So I'm good there. I probably won't need those things until I get to the higher peaks, the 10 or more hour hikes, which I don't expect to do for a few years so I'm ok for now.

I want to try for my first high peak this fall. The shortest high peak on the 46er list, hiking distance wise, is 4.8 miles round trip and that is Cascade Mountain. That will be my first. I did want to do do the same mountains my paternal Grandmother did first and last and on the anniversaries but that is just not gonna happen. Gotta work my way up. I'm sure she'd understand. Although she was a bit of a bad ass when it came to hiking.

I will be doing Marcy Dam later this summer and that's seven miles round trip. Looking forward to testing myself! However, I will be doing smaller hikes before I go to Marcy Dam. Really looking forward to getting back to nature and my roots in the Adirondacks.

Now that I think about it I don't think I've been on a hike in the Adirondacks since my paternal Grandmother died in the early 90's. I look forward to honoring my Grandmother's memory on those hikes.

And a correction...

Last post I mentioned my Father is a 46er. Well, he's not. I thought for sure he was, but we'll have to do something about that. I'm pretty sure I will do a lot of hiking with him in the high peaks. After all it's his mother who is the 46er!

Happy Mother's Day!

Walking around in the woods shooting things

From the nature walk

So yesterday I went on my first hike since the early 90's. It was awesome. I of course brought my camera with me because it was a photo hike. I got some good pictures. The first hike really wasn't a hike, it was a nature walk at a nature center.  The second walk was the hike.

At the end of the hike

Keep in mind I used to hike when I was a kid. I've done a few Adirondack trails. I've done Avalanche Lake at least three times, the lake is not as beautiful as it once was but it's my favorite. I've done some others I don't remember. Someday I'd like to hike Mt Marcy which is the highest mountain in New York State. It will happen. Mt Marcy has special meaning to me because my Dad's family hiked it on the day we buried my paternal Grandmother in the early 90's. She was a 46er and loved hiking.That day I stayed behind at base camp because I was recovering from Pneumonia. I feel like I really missed out that day. Maybe I should get them all together when I go for my hike  on Marcy because the number one rule about hiking is not hiking alone and they mean the world to me! However, that's gonna be a while because Marcy is 7 miles one way. I did a three mile round trip yesterday after doing a nature walk. So, I need to work my way up.

From the nature walk

So yesterday I learned I can walk in the woods as well as in the city. Kinda knew that one. However, mud was a problem. The three other people I was hiking with were old hiking pros so they just walked through the mud and walked on stones and were just unstoppable. I was afraid of falling in the mud or falling on the rocks. So, needless to say I straggled behind and wimped out a few times. However, I did it. At the end there was a pretty steep hill that I had to stop a few times while I was going up it but otherwise I was pretty unstoppable myself in my own way.

From the hike

Overall I realized that I need more conditioning before I go mountain climbing. However, I will continue on working my way toward hiking mountains. In fact, many of my fellow WWers have gone from couch potatoes to marathoners. Well, I'm not a runner, never was and probably never will be. I think I'm going to continue a long tradition in my Dad's family, I'm going to become a 46er! If you don't know what that is go here.

As I said to my Facebook friends:."Becoming a 46er is a lofty goal, but so is running a marathon!" I'll of course report about it here! Don't know how long it will take, but stay tuned! It could take twenty years to become a 46er, or even longer. Too bad I'm not getting any younger! However, already talking about going on a hike when one of my paternal Aunts comes to visit from Arizona in August! Got lots of other offers too!

As always thanks for reading!