November Update: Really out of control

I thought I was ready for a comeback and out of control before. Now I am really out of control. It's amazing how I've been eating and not being able to remember what I ate. I haven't tracked in a week or more. That's not why I haven't been tracking; I just don't care.  I haven't weighed myself for about a month and I know my clothes are getting tighter. I'm about to bring out my 24s. I know that my 2x shirts are getting too small for me. It's funny how the weight can come back so quickly.


One of my big problems is that I keep eating candy candy and more candy at work. I found out where the community candy bowl is at work. I thought the one on a co-worker's desk that is located on the other side of the room was easy to resist because I don't have to walk past it if I don't want to. It's also not free, so if I don't have money I can't have any. Well, the free community one is right by my row. I'll have to start pretending that I don't know it's there. When I'm not raiding the candy bowl at work I'm eating out of the vending machine. One day I ate three candy bars in a day.
 
I have been trying to stop myself by giving myself internal pep talks. I've also have my support system trying to talk sense in to me. I've come up with a strategy. One, I will stop bringing money in to work. Two, I'm going to start to downsize. I  bought a bag of small sizes of the candy I keep eating out of the vending machine. I will bring a few of them to work with me. It will be better than eating an entire Hershey's with almonds and/or Big Kat. It will also keep me from raiding the community candy bowl.

I haven't been to a meeting for about a month. I keep hearing "That's why you're so out of control". Well, I don't think that's true. I don't think a meeting is going to keep me eating sensibly. My first week on Weight Watchers I didn't go to a meeting and I stayed on the program. I also feel that if my eating is so out of control and none of the advice I could get, or support, I could get at a meeting is going to do any good because I'm so off the program. I've survived far worse by myself, I can overcome this.

 I may "eat" my words someday, but for now that is how I feel. I'm stubborn as hell.

So, that's how life is for me. I considered stopping this blog and giving up, but I'm still hanging in there.

Because I know I have a lot of international readers I need to be sensitive to certain things. So, if you're American, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and for the rest of you, I hope you have a great Holiday Season.

About Hostess going out of business

Before I start, I want to say my computer is back in working order, however I have been exceptionally busy taking care of extremely important emergency home matters. I expect for life to return to "normal" in the next week or so. However, it is the holiday season and I'm sure you know how that can be.

With that said...

You'd think that a person who once weighed 385 might of had an intimate relationship with the Hostess brand. Well, I didn't. I am not a big junk food person, never was. My opinion about Hostess going out of business is that there's no loss there. I think their products are pretty unappetizing. I would not be surprised if the old joke is true; that Twinkies are one molecule from plastic.

Don't get me wrong, I hate to see a business of any kind go out of business because it means loss of jobs and hardships for many people. However, I will not miss seeing Hostess brands on the shelves. I've probably eaten maybe ten Hostess snack cakes in my 39 years.

I feel badly for all of the folks who are losing their jobs over this. I'm sure the local economy will suffer in that area also. However, it will not make any difference in my life.

On the other hand, Ben & Jerry's going out of business, well, that would be a problem!

As always, thank you for reading.

Won't be around for a while.

My computer is down so I will not be updating for a while. I don't know how long I will be away, it could be more than a week. I'm working on getting the problem solved ASAP.

As always, thank you for reading.