You're so vain you probably think this blog is about you...

I realized today that my post about my skin made me sound so very vain. I can assure you I'm not vain. Yes, I'm becoming more confident and I'm becoming very happy with what I see in the mirror, but I've earned it. I've earned the right to want to look my best after so many years. I also earned the right to like what I look like after not caring what I looked like for many years. In fact, I think how I feel about myself now is normal. It's just so new that it's out in the forefront. I'm sure after a while it will just be second nature. I've come a long way.

My personal hygiene when I was really heavy was not the best. Yes I showered as much as I do now and I of course did the basics, like brushing my teeth and deodorant. I dressed nicely too. Other than the minimum of personal care and dressing nicely, I just didn't care..

I would sometimes go days without washing my face and I'm not talking I just skipped day, I would go at least three days in a row without washing my face. I would also just wash my face with Ivory soap which in my book is not a good thing. I don't think Ivory soap does anything for my face. There are other things I could tell you about my improved hygiene but that would all be TMI. So I'll end this paragraph here.

It's almost like I'm back from a long sleep. Back then I just was not living. I didn't care about a lot of things,  but now I'm so happy that I'm back to taking care myself and liking myself. It is so much easier to care for myself in general. If I feel this great now I can't imagine what it will be like when I get to my goal. I might just not be able to stand myself ;-)

Well....

That's a deep subject! Hahaha!

Seriously though..

I'm back on track. I've lost 4.4 lbs since Monday last week.

My total is now 114 lbs! Three more than my leader and seven more till halfway!

My skin

This can't be normal

I used to take very good care of my skin when I was in my early 20's I started to use Alpha Hydrox face wash and Oil of Olay lotion with sunscreen. RELIGIOUSLY! It was my preemptive strike on my face aging. Eventually once I turned 30 I used eye gel too. I stopped doing that in 2006. Whether it was me meeting my husband in 2005 that made me stop or getting fatter that made me stop caring, I don't know. I thought I still looked good no matter what and I was ok to not take really good care of my skin. I'm lucky enough to have good genes. However, it is a documented fact that the collagen in your skin starts to break down at age 25.

 If you know me or if you've been watching my face over the last two years I think I'm getting "droopy face". It's something that is common in people who lose a lot of weight, particularly people who have gastric bypass or lose weight fast. I of course have not had a Gastric Bypass and I'm not losing weight fast I'm just losing a lot of weight, period. I expect it to 'snap back' eventually to a point. I have hope based on something I heard someone who spoke at that open house say that it can take three years for your skin to 'snap back' based on what her Doctor told her. Funny thing is that people usually look older when they lose weight and according to many people I'm aging in reverse with my weight loss.


One thing that really concerns me is my smile. A while ago I could just smile and my face knew when to stop smiling. Now I try to smile and I don't know where my smile should stop. Yes, there is only so far you can smile and your face will stop. However, my smile doesn't look the same. Sometimes I hold my bottom lip off to the side too. I also look fake when I smile now. I blame my stretched out skin.

The underside of my face today..

Fortunately there are exercises for the body so you can firm up but none for the face. Well, at least none I believe really work. So I've started to take really good care of my face again and I really believe there is a difference. I'm back to the same ol' same ol' of Oil of Olay with sunscreen and eye gel. I need to get to the store and get myself some Alpha Hydrox face wash and I'll be looking at other options I can use.

As far as the rest of my body I need to do toning exercises. I'm not going into what my body looks like but a certain dairy product comes to mind. I definitely have some areas I want to work on like under my arms and my stomach. I don't think I'll ever wear a bikini, not that ever was a bikini wearer. Last time I wore one I was four. I am sure if I ever wear a bathing suit again, that last time I remember wearing one was in the 90's, I'll probably have to wear a swimming skirt and I'm ok with that! I might need to do some serious targeted toning to wear a bathing suit again or even shorts again.

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I'm good without wearing a bathing suit and shorts and have been for many years.

Thanks for reading!

There's good news and there's bad news

So the blog is back to "normal" or at least as normal as it's going to be. I've removed some things but for the most part it's the same blog. I have have mixed emotions about having my blog back. I have good news and bad news.

Me in New York City April 14, 2012
in front of a Deli I went to many times when I was a child.

First, the good news. The good news is that I walked for three hours on Saturday in New York City. We walked from Battery Park up Broadway and over to West Street to Chelsea Piers. It's a three mile walk taking the direct route. We took a few detours. My feet didn't hurt, I didn't get winded, I didn't sit down that much and for that long. There is no way that would have been possible two years ago. You're lucky if I could have walked for thirty minutes. I'm sure I would have complained and been huffing and puffing and needed to sit down a lot for a while. If I had walked at the same pace on saturday two years ago I wouldn't have been able to keep it up for long.

The bad news is that I've gained weight. I haven't lost since the Open House/Grand Opening I spoke at on March 10th. Now, I'm not talking I retained some water and I gained less than a pound. Since March 10th I have gained 2 pounds. Before now I had never gained more than .6 pounds. I gained 1.2 one meeting and 1 my last meeting.

I really need to buckle down. I spoke to my leader and she really gave me a talking to and I am pretty sure I know what I need to do.

1.  I need to stop making exceptions. For example, my mother was down in March to see me because she was on her way to NYC to go on a cruise and I went off my points the weekend before she went on the cruise because "It's St Patrick's Day". I went over points the weekend when she came back from her cruise because "We are celebrating" and "I don't weigh in 'til next week". I knowingly went over points probably four times in a month. The most I went over points was nine a week.
2. Exercise more. My job now is much more sedentary than my last job was so I need to exercise more
3. Eat more fruit and vegetables. Yes, I mentioned that a while ago, but I need to eat MORE of them. It will fill me up and leave room so that I can have more points to eat more without going over points
4.  Watch my portions. Lately I've been taking my husband's word for my portions. We eat out a lot and I consult him about estimating my portions. I just realized how crazy that is because he's not on WW and he still eats more than I did at my highest weight so he obviously has portion issues. He also doesn't have an up close and personal relationship with what I eat. I know best!
5. Go to meetings every week instead of every other week. I need the support now more than ever.

So, I will keep you all up to date. I will report after next week's weigh in!

I'm working on it!

9:20pm
Blog is still not "normal". Should be back up by 9pm Wednesday.
 
7:20pm
If you came to my blog expecting it to be back to "normal" today well, you are a bit early. I'm working on it! I hope to have everything up and running by 9pm ET time tonight! I really really need it too!

Shopping with Dad.

Let me preface this by saying my Dad is not a "let's go to the mall" kinda of guy. He's never taken me shopping for clothing (that I remember).  So, needless to say, I was thrilled when he told me he was taking me shopping today.

Now, I have enough clothing at the size I am now, 22/24. However, I got some clothes that are 18/20. I'm not too far away from that size. I was thrilled to try on the clothes and although they are a bit too small for me, I looked pretty damned good in them!

My limit was unlimited and that on top of loving everything I tried on made it very easy to rack up a big bill. We dropped a good chunk of change at Lane Bryant. I got at least four tops, two cardigan sweaters, two pairs of jeans, a watch, sunglasses and three things from the Cacique size of the store.

At my highest weight I hated almost everything I tried on at any store and I usually was very disappointed. I also hated to walk around the all because of the effort that was needed to walk because of all of the extra weight I was carrying.  Today was effortless.

Another milestone for me. I love to shop again! Yay!

Weekend in Hartford, CT

My first new XL shirt in many years

Had some really good weight related things happen this weekend while in Hartford, CT with my stepson and hubby. For the last month or so I've been trying on hubby's XL shirts and on a lark I tried on one if his shirts while in the hotel. It fit! So I purchased my first new XL shirt in probably about ten years at the live Mythbusters' show we went to Hartford to see. I haven't worn an 18/20 since my early 20's which would put me somewhere in the mid 1990's! Also, when we went to the show we walked from our hotel. According to my husband, I out walked my 20something stepson!

When I was in Hartford I wasn't afraid to be in pictures. In fact, I asked to have pictures taken of me! When I was really heavy I would ask to be photographed from the front and from about mid chest up. Now I'm not afraid to be photographed from any angle.

Me at the Mark Twain House

When we toured the Mark Twain House there were three stories and of course there was no elevator. Regardless of my progress, I was a little concerned, but I did it! I did not have any difficulty whatsoever. I kept up with the crowd going up the stairs! I also kept up with the crowd walking.

So it was a great weekend! On Monday my weeklies reset and I had some Girl Scout Cookies. I haven't had any Girl Scout cookies since I started WW. I ate a whole row of them. A whole row of them is 1/4 of my daily points. I used to finish one box of those in two days max. I'm sure sometimes I ate a box in one day. That would equal 3/4 of my daily points. It's just amazing how much my life has changed. I'm so happy and so proud of myself!