The Oscar Epiphany

So...

I've been struggling a lot lately. My eating has been crazy, I've been feeling sorry for myself and making excuses. I haven't stepped on a scale in a while and I didn't see any end in sight. I haven't been to a meeting in a few weeks either. So many times I wanted to give up in the last few weeks. I even wanted to stop blogging.

Well, tonight, while watching The Oscars tonight I had an amazing epiphany.

Being the musical lover I am, I was excited when John Travolta came on the stage and told about the musical number with Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jennifer Hudson and the stars of the movie Les Miserables. I figured it would be a wonderful tribute to modern movie musicals.

When Jennifer Hudson's part of the number came on they showed short snippets of the movie Dreamgirls. Immediately after that flash of her in the movie she started to sing.

I cried like a baby.

Yes, "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going". is a very emotional song. However, for me, it was more. Something clicked in my head once again.

The clip of the movie reminded me who she was, that beautiful young overweight woman who sang like nobody's business on American Idol who was voted off way too early who then went on to then become to win a Grammy award for her debut album, and won an Oscar for her role in Showgirls. Watching her sing on the Oscars reminded me of the woman who she is now, after losing all of that weight and becoming a Weight Watchers spokesperson. It reminded me that she was the reason that I started Weight Watchers; that I connected with those "new day" commercials she was in in 2011. Those commercials that launched me on this journey.

Through the tears, I remembered how good it felt to be all about Weight Watchers when I started the program. I remembered how great it was, although I wasn't at my goal weight, to be speaking as a success story in March of 2012. I remembered how good it felt as the pounds went away. I remembered how good it felt as my clothes got looser and got into smaller sizes. I remembered how good those non-scale victories felt. I remembered how great it felt to ride a roller coaster again in 2011. I remember how great it felt to sit on the floor comfortably to play with my Granddaughter for the first time this past September. I remember how good the journey felt and how it can feel good again. I remembered why I started on this journey and I decided I'm not about to go back. There's too much road ahead I have to cover. So many non-scale victories to achieve. So many things I want to do and keep doing.

What an amazing moment to get me out of my funk.

It's a new day!

Thank you for reading!

My real age

So, I just took a "Real age test". It said my "real age" is 40.9. That's fine because I will be turning 40 later this year. However, know that I took that same quiz years ago when I was really heavy and my real age was ten years older than I really was. That number freaked me out a bit, but it didn't make me change anything. I've come a long way. Amazing what changing your weight can do for you. That's all I've got for you.

Thank you for reading.

Sometimes you just can't

It's been often said that losing weight is not easy. Well, sometimes life is not easy either and can seem pretty insurmountable. There are days I feel like I'm not worthy having you all read my every word. There are some days I feel very vulnerable and I feel like letting it all hang out is too much.

I know you're all out there cheering me on and I appreciate it. However, know that I'm not Superwoman.

My life has been less than stellar since November and there seems to be a never ending black cloud over my life. Part of that black cloud is something I can't come out and talk about on my blog. Although I pour my heart out on my blog week after week there are some things that I will never talk about. However, there is one thing that I want to talk about so badly, but it could completely change what people think about me

That thing is something that can literally put my life at risk and could destroy my life. Keep in mind that the talking about it could not destroy my life or put my life at risk, it's the thing that would. It's something that would be considered brave to talk about. That thing can really tear me apart and the treatment can cause me to gain weight, it can also increase my appetite.

So, when you see my accomplishments keep in mind that I've had way more than just overeating to overcome. I've had to overcome this other medical problem. My medical problem did not flare up til March of last year and that is where I started having problems. My medical problem can be fine for years. In fact, it was fine for many years and now, it's left me in shambles once again.

I haven't stepped on a scale since I proclaimed my 16 pound gain. So, I don't know if I've gained or lost. If I've done anything I've either gained or stayed the same because I'm still on maintenance. Right now I feel I need to get this medical problem under control before I worry about anything else because stress can exacerbate the problem.

So. I'll mull over if I should talk about my medical problem on here or not. It could make for an interesting post. However, I don't know if it's worth the risk


Thank you so much for reading.

Are you getting enough sleep?

Yes, this is a weight loss issue. Believe it or not, the lack of sleep can cause you to gain weight. According to WebMD:

If you’re feeling sleepy at work, you may be tempted to reach for a cup of coffee (or several cups) and a doughnut for a quick shot of energy. Later you may skip the gym and pick up takeout on your way home to your family -- no time to cook. When you finally find yourself back in your bed, you are too wound up to sleep.

It’s a vicious cycle, and eventually this sleep deprivation can sabotage your waistline and your health.

I've read so many articles about sleep because I have trouble falling asleep, so I figured I'd give my advice on how to fall asleep and get a good night's sleep. I don't follow all of these, but the ones I do follow work quite well:

• Relaxation techniques, like using aroma therapy, relaxing music, guided imagery, etc works well to help you relax to fall asleep and get a good night's sleep.

• Not ingesting any caffeine after 3pm is a good rule of thumb to help you fall asleep.

• If you have a routine before you go to bed your brain will know it's time to sleep. For example, having a cup of herbal tea, designed to make you sleepy, before you go to bed will signal your brain that it's time to go to sleep.

• Turning off electronic devices like TVs and computers at least an hour before you go to bed helps your brain to shut down so you can fall asleep.

• Temperature can be an issue. Your body temp needs to go down before you can fall asleep.

• While darkness really helps in falling asleep, getting enough light can be an issue also. Your body knows it's time to sleep after it gets so much light. I assume that's natural light.

• Also going to bed at the same time every night supposedly works.

• Camomile tea can work too, but be careful, just a few weeks ago it kept me up.

On a personal note: 

• I know my insomnia and low quality of sleep for a while was because of my husband's snoring, I now wear earplugs. I sleep much more soundly

• I also can't get a good night's sleep when there's too much light. I have to have a really dark room to sleep. Even the light from an alarm clock can keep you up. Either wear a sleep mask or just set your alarm clock and then block the display with something. All you need to do is hear it go off in the morning. Also, if you don't want get a sleep mask, a vertically folded t-shirt over your eyes works nicely. 

• Also, I know if a room is too quiet it can keep me up. Running a fan or getting a sound machine can help. I know that when the fan gets turned off in the fall I can have trouble sleeping.  

• I know that sometimes being too cold can be a problem too. My cold feet can keep my up, so I wear socks.    

• Also, for some reason I need something on me to fall asleep, even if it's just a sheet.    

And from the "It's not in anything I've read, but it works, so why not?" file:
  
I know sometimes having my husband come in until I relax and fall asleep really helps. He can just sit on the edge of the bed quietly and it works. Sometimes I also rest my cheek on him if he's sleeping in the bed with me, and for some reason that helps me relax too. I think it has something to do with his rhythmic breathing when he's sleeping. 
   
When I was really heavy I would snore and thank God I don't snore anymore. Even if I haven't lost all of my weight I feel like I've accomplished something great that I've lost enough weight to stop snoring. 

So that's all I've got, thank you for reading!