I realized today that my post about my skin made me sound so very vain. I can assure you I'm not vain. Yes, I'm becoming more confident and I'm becoming very happy with what I see in the mirror, but I've earned it. I've earned the right to want to look my best after so many years. I also earned the right to like what I look like after not caring what I looked like for many years. In fact, I think how I feel about myself now is normal. It's just so new that it's out in the forefront. I'm sure after a while it will just be second nature. I've come a long way.
My personal hygiene when I was really heavy was not the best. Yes I showered as much as I do now and I of course did the basics, like brushing my teeth and deodorant. I dressed nicely too. Other than the minimum of personal care and dressing nicely, I just didn't care..
I would sometimes go days without washing my face and I'm not talking I just skipped day, I would go at least three days in a row without washing my face. I would also just wash my face with Ivory soap which in my book is not a good thing. I don't think Ivory soap does anything for my face. There are other things I could tell you about my improved hygiene but that would all be TMI. So I'll end this paragraph here.
It's almost like I'm back from a long sleep. Back then I just was not living. I didn't care about a lot of things, but now I'm so happy that I'm back to taking care myself and liking myself. It is so much easier to care for myself in general. If I feel this great now I can't imagine what it will be like when I get to my goal. I might just not be able to stand myself ;-)
Saturday, April 28, 2012
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I've always noticed that you can tell how I feel about myself a given day/week/whatever by how much fuss I put into my appearance. I wear my glasses and no makeup if I'm feeling really down. I might throw some makeup on but keep my glasses on if I'm feeling a little better. And if I'm wearing contacts, and face/eye makeup, I'm feeling really great. I actually did that more when I was heavier, but I also had an office job then so I had more of a reason to be presentable. My dog doesn't care whether I'm wearing mascara.
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